Me. At least after what I've been through.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Randomize
