Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize