i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
