my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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