You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize