I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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