I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
