i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
