if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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