So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
