Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
