she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
