why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
