Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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