names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
