we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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