If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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