I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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