i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
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