i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
