He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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