Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
