I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
