So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
