if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
the day after is always just damage control
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize