her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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