yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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