There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
