I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
