I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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