once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I will be naked everywhere
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize