We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
