She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
