For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
