if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
