I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My dick has a subreddit
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
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