I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
