**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
