You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
