grandma shit on top of the toilet
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
