are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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