It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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