I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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