Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
