Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
