the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
