Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
