'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize