dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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