the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
