Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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