porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
