i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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