She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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