turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
