i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
