y did u give ur computer a hand job?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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