things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
