laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you win again, gameday.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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