I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
