I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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