Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
