i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
