I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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