My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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