Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
