The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize