I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Green mimosas i think yes
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
