I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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