Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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