You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
ok first of all what the fuck
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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