we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
