Buhtt sex?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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