Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
