I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
