Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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