I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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